Lady Gaga Locked in Egg: Justin Bieber Next
Los Angeles, CA: With the news release that the egg Lady Gaga arrived in at the Staples Center for the Grammy Awards had been her home for 72 hours, publicists…
Gay Marriage is the Gateway Marriage
Bob Bordus of the Straight Marriage for Maryland group has finally added a new argument in the anti-gay marriage arsenal. “Gay marriage is the gateway marriage. Just like marijuana is…
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 2-7-2011
It is the Year of the Rabbit! But since Moonbeam Crenshaw does not know where to find Chinese zodiac symbols, he is keeping with his normal horrible readings.
AOL Buys Huffington Post: Inept Owl Still Awaiting Offer
New York, NY: In a surprising internet business deal that doesn't have to do with phone applications or Facebook, long-time email hosting system and chatroom pedophile nest America On-Line recently…
Review of Deftones: Diamond Eyes
To be fair, I knew fuck-all about the Deftones before I hear their latest album, Diamond Eyes. I thought, based on the name, that they were some sort of jazzy,…
Pittsburgh’s Hines Ward Stops Smiling for the First Time in Thirty Years
Pittsburgh, PA: Hines Ward, Steelers wide receiver and the man long recognized as the village idiot of Pittsburgh, suddenly stopped smiling this morning after realizing that his team, the Pittsburgh…
NFL Powder Puff Picks: Super Bowl XLV
Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! It's Super Bowl time! And what better place to have it than in the frozen tundra of Dallas, Texas.
Groundhog Predicts Early Spring: Pennsylvanians Get Naked
Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog of revelation, left his hole this morning, slipped on the ice, crashed head-first into a tree, and didn't see his shadow in the frozen tundra that…
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 1-31-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw can't see the stars through a snowstorm, but he's reading them anyway!
Drinking Through Alternative Body Parts
It seems that the kids here in the UK have a drinking problem: they're pouring alcohol into their eyes. This activity, known as 'Vodka eyeballing' is fast becoming a firm…