Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks!

It’s Super Bowl time! And what better place to have it than in the frozen tundra of Dallas, Texas.

 

 

Sunday, February 6th, 2011

 

 

 

VS

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Green Bay Packers

LINE: Packers(GNB) by 3

Darby Shaw: Do you remember the good ol’ days, back when Super Bowl drama involved things like “defensive back busted with hooker the night before the big game” or “starting center goes off his meds and disappears for a week”? Now, we’re stuck with pathetic stories like “some players don’t get to be in the team photo, boo hoo” or “Big Ben seen at a bar, rather than the monastery as Goodell mandated.” I mean, come on. If I had a nickel for every time there was video of me slurring my way through “Piano Man” at a bar, I’d be richer than… err, Ben. In fact, “drunk and singing Piano Man” has the third-largest set of search results at Youtube, after “Miley Cyrus acting like an idiot” and “monkey drinking own urine.” Cut the guy some slack.

Oh, yeah. The game. Umm… everybody like the Packers, so I’m picking the Steelers. Defense, unscripted play at the QB position, blah blah whatever. Pick: Steelers-LOSS

 

Rick Bernardo: Finally, the NFL grows some balls and decides to allow Ice Bowl 2 to happen. Sure, it’s not comfy for the Hollywood celebrities, corporate executives, and hall-of-fame players filling out the seats…oh wait. It is. Cowboys stadium is in a dome. So the hardcore fans are the ones that decided to shell out $200 each to sit in the parking lot freezing their asses off during Dallas’ first ice storm in a millenia so they can say, “We were there.” Screw this collective bargaining BS. I say they let the tailgaters in, and the jerks inside that bought their respective jerseys 3 days ago, if they did at all, sit in the cold.

Oh yeah, the game. Hell if I know. I expected Rodgers to be in a hospital bed, and Big Ben to be in jail, so I’ve already lost my forecast. So, he who has the most hair, wins. Pick:Packers-WIN

 

 Steve Elle: there’s so much tradition bound up in this match-up, you’d think the players might break out in song ala Fiddler on the Roof (‘tradition!’). Too bad sexy Rexy isn’t in the SB; he’d be the perfect Tevye. Anyway, tradition aside this, is a good matchup. Both teams are fairly evenly matched. It’ll be interesting to see how the Steelers’ battered o-line holds up against the Packers defensive front 7. The speed of the artificial surface would seem to favor the Packers, but the Steelers have some speed too. More interesting though are the sights and rhetoric, as usual. Who couldn’t crack a queasy smile at the sight of the perpetually smiling Hines Ward, dressed up as a black cowboy villain and looking like a stand in for Blazing Saddles. Speaking of smiles, how creepy was the ever present plastic smile that Ben Rottenburger was displaying, all while sidestepping questions about his (allegedly) criminal behavior. All three occurrences. Nah, must just be a huge coincidence. Go Pack! Pick: Packers-WIN

Rob Wheatley: Bowel Soup
Restless & Kcraper
Well, suffice to say I’ve done a ton of research for this game, and I’ve found a sustainable free energy supply for the world for ever..however, none of THAT research is relevant to the game in hand, so I binned it.. Keep cutting down them trees my Brazilian lumberjack pals, I’ll be back soon ….
Black Eyed peas are being served at half-time, a sort of shit-hot-groove-funk alternative to the endless hours of men in tight pants and shiny helmets who are going to be ruining the spectacle of the whole day by chucking an organic  haggis at each other, or trying to get it between two sticks , or something..I’ve never really been one for ‘rules’..anyway, somebody gonna get really upset while the other team’s fans go home in jubilation and celebration. That’s sport, that’s football, that’s another year of this…where do I claim for expenses and has anybody seen my pen ?? Packers WIN -after all that trouble, I coulda told you that on week 1 !
Pick:Packers-WIN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RECORDS

This Week

Darby Shaw: 0-1

Rick Bernardo: 1-0

Steve Elle: 1-0

Rob Wheatley: 1-0

Total

Steve Elle: 155-113

Rob Wheatley: 150-118

Rick Bernardo: 145-123

Darby Shaw: 144-124

By FascistEditor

As the managing editor of The Inept Owl, Patrick has sworn to uphold the honor and integrity of hard-hitting journalism...but only on Sundays at 10am.