New York, NY: In a surprising internet business deal that doesn’t have to do with phone applications or Facebook, long-time email hosting system and chatroom pedophile nest America On-Line recently agreed to buy the expansive news editorial website, Huffington Post, for $315 million.

The deal, when signed, will incorporate the internet’s largest commission-free blogging site with AOL Time Warner in a move the corporation hopes will give them more content and more exposure.

Much of AOL’s audience exposure became lost when the search engine/mail server stopped sending out free coasters in the mail, which were actually download discs for the AOL program. Much like Prodigy before it, the dial-up program was phased out of the world with the release of cable-access internet, and smart-phones that the download disc could not fit into.

Now, with the sale of Huffington Post, the higher-ups at The Inept Owl lie in wait for their own chance to sell out.

“Thing look good for us,” stated owner and editor-in-chief of The Inept Owl Patrick Emmel. “Huffington Post barely pays anyone for their content. Well, we don’t pay anyone at all, so it’s only a matter of time before someone picks us up. Maybe AltaVista. They probably need a shot of content, if they’re even around anymore.”

While The Inept Owl may not garner as hefty a price tag as The Huffington Post, Mr. Emmel does have a considerable sum in mind for when the phone rings. “I’m just hoping to get enough to buy a few things that will help fuel my lavish lifestyle. Maybe enough to go get some coffee and a bagel. With cream cheese! Yeah, I may be reaching for the stars, but I have to start high and let them weedle me down to a fair price.”

When asked if he hopes to be given a position in the merger like Arianna Huffington, Mr. Emmel became elated. “You mean they would pay me to do this? I thought I’d have to pay them to put up my articles. What a world!”

When asked if he would forget the rest of his staff, Patrick answered, “Of course not. My staff is like my family. I’d take care of them. I’d have a big party with them at Chuck E. Cheese’s. Open bar, free pizza. Unfortunately, airfare and lodging would not be included. But they could totally crash in my living room if they brought their own sleeping bags.”

The staff of The Inept Owl themselves were unavailable for comment.

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.