Griffin Saves Baby During Dunk: Clippers Lose by 23
Oklahoma City, OK: It is a hard road to find a way past the slam dunks of Blake Griffin in order to hear about actual basketball games. Every other day,…
Alabama Named Least Active State
Today, the Center for Disease Control released a comprehensive list of the least active states, and Alabama tops that list. According to the CDC, more than 29 percent of the…
BRESPN: The All Brett Favre Network
With the re-re-re-retirement of NFL Hall of Fame quarterback and soft-porn texter Brett Favre, the world is wondering, "What will Brett Favre do now?" Well, aside from the probable comeback…
Man to Charge Two Pennies for His Thoughts
Portland, ME: In a bold and decisive move, local know-it-all John Wether decided to raise the price of his thoughts this week. For the past thirty-one years, Wether has charged…
Lady Gaga Locked in Egg: Justin Bieber Next
Los Angeles, CA: With the news release that the egg Lady Gaga arrived in at the Staples Center for the Grammy Awards had been her home for 72 hours, publicists…
Gay Marriage is the Gateway Marriage
Bob Bordus of the Straight Marriage for Maryland group has finally added a new argument in the anti-gay marriage arsenal. “Gay marriage is the gateway marriage. Just like marijuana is…
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 2-7-2011
It is the Year of the Rabbit! But since Moonbeam Crenshaw does not know where to find Chinese zodiac symbols, he is keeping with his normal horrible readings.
AOL Buys Huffington Post: Inept Owl Still Awaiting Offer
New York, NY: In a surprising internet business deal that doesn't have to do with phone applications or Facebook, long-time email hosting system and chatroom pedophile nest America On-Line recently…
Pittsburgh’s Hines Ward Stops Smiling for the First Time in Thirty Years
Pittsburgh, PA: Hines Ward, Steelers wide receiver and the man long recognized as the village idiot of Pittsburgh, suddenly stopped smiling this morning after realizing that his team, the Pittsburgh…
NFL Powder Puff Picks: Super Bowl XLV
Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! It's Super Bowl time! And what better place to have it than in the frozen tundra of Dallas, Texas.