Pete Carroll Plans Hug Parade to Super Bowl XLV
Seattle, WA: Pete Carroll has heard many things this year as the head coach of the Seattle Seahawks: how his college coaching style won't work; how Matt Hasselbeck is finally…
Tanorexia Found to be Hereditary
A new study published in the Archives of Dermatology has found the deadly disease tanorexia to be hereditary.
NFL Powder Puff Picks: Wild-Card Weekend
Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! The regular season ended with Steve Elle having a commanding lead, but it's not over yet. Playoffs, Super Bowl, Pro Bowl,…
Ben Roethlisberger’s Engagement Ordered by Court
Atlanta, GA: Recent rumors of Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger's engagement to Ashley Harlan have begun circulating these past 24 hours, along with critiques on how anyone, female, male, or…
Holy Hepatitis! Parishioners Get More than Communion during Christmas Mass
Massapequa Park, NY: Christmas Day is one of the busiest for Catholic Churches around the world. It is the one day a year when many Catholics suddenly remember that they’re…
While We Were Bored: Bieber-Loop
While we were bored and tired of reading...
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 1-3-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw opens up the new year with some words of wisdom.
Men Crowd Red Carpet for People’s Choice Awards, Single Mila Kunis
Los Angeles, CA: There's only one day before the red carpet rollout for the 2011 People's Choice Awards, and already an audience has overrun Chick Hearn Court and Olympic Boulevard.…
Apocalypse Coming Sooner Than Expected
Raleigh, NC—If you resolved to lose fifty pounds this year or to limit your habit to one pack a day, you might want to hurry up. Or just give up…
2011 Looks Bleak Due to Boring Glasses and Bad Rhyme Schemes
New York, NY: The end of 2010 is upon us, but yearly critics say 2011 won't begin much better. The cause: horribly designed novelty glasses and a rhyme scheme that…