New York, NY: The end of 2010 is upon us, but yearly critics say 2011 won’t begin much better. The cause: horribly designed novelty glasses and a rhyme scheme that makes a song about twenty-eleven seem impossible.

Whereas most novelty glasses for the previous New Year’s Eve festivities had an easily readable numeric pattern, 2011 eye-wear will be breaking tradition, creating the year of the “U”. It is unknown if this will create a less egotistical new year, or 20-U will brandish less, “uh”, decision-making.

“They should have just replaced the ‘0’ with a heart. Then at least people could have a bit more to look forward to,” stated Times Square visitor Nancy Thomas.

Another dilemma is the use of 2011 in any music composition, which always perks up a new year. Partying like it’s 1999 was an easy link to last decade’s Y2K. This year will prove much harder to create a proper rhyme scheme in a song.

“The year 2000 was amazing. Prince, Dr. Dre, they all had great songs. Now we have to deal with a 2 syllable, 3 syllable set-up for songs,” commented music producer David Geffen. “I’m sure Justin Bieber can set up some garbage song, but what will┬áthat prove?”

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.