Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-28-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw reads the stars through a cloudy night in order to tell us what to expect. Allegedly.
Meet the Boy who Visited Heaven and Played with Jesus’ Purple Headband
Imperial, NE: After a burst appendix nearly cost 4-year-old Colton Burpo his life in 2003, his parents were thankful just to have him alive and well. But when he opened…
Dick Clark Defeats Elizabeth Taylor in Death Pools, Tontine
Bel Aire, CA: After years of waiting while younger, more surprising celebrities passed on, the final chapter of death pools worldwide was closed yesterday. Dick Clark has defeated Elizabeth Taylor.
Supermoon Terrorizes East Coast
New York, NY: This past weekend tragedy struck, as that orbiting chunk of rock, the moon, came a whole 2 inches closer to the Earth than usual. The proximity caused…
Charlie Sheen Done with Drugs, Now Selling Coffee and Animal Blood
Hollywood/Chicago: The beat goes on for Charlie Sheen. Now content with taking only the drug known as ‘Charlie Sheen’, Sheen has traded his addiction to drugs and hookers in for…
Woman Arrested on St. Patrick’s Day for Being Sober
Unfortunately, someone always has to take things too far, and spoil the fun for everyone. This year, 23 year old Manhattan resident Stacey Fueller was the culprit. At about 1:45pm,…
When Jesters Became Kings: The Owl Invades Rick’s Cabaret NYC
I have to admit, I am not a regular strip club visitor. If I think back really hard, I may need both hands to count out the amount of times…
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-14-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to tell us how the coming week will treat us!
UFC Owner Dana White Buys Strikeforce: Next, The World
Las Vegas, NV: In an effort to lock up more of the elite fighters in the sport of mixed martial arts(MMA), Dana White and company haved officially purchased Showtime's Strikeforce,…
Gwyneth Paltrow Claims Crown of Musical Tag-A-Long Spouse
While many believed Paltrow may end up in an all-nude hippie march on the White House after marrying Coldplay frontman Chris Martin and naming their first child Apple Blythe Alison…