Ranchers in Oregon Express Constitutional Right to Armed Takeover of Federal Property
Burns, Oregon – On Saturday, a group of concerned citizens expressed their discontent with the Federal government by forcibly occupying a National Wildlife Refuge and threatening to shoot anyone who…
Apple Releases Info on Crucial Apple Watch Accessories
San Francisco, CA: Following Apple's public introduction of the company's latest techno-bauble yesterday, creatively dubbed the Apple Watch, Apple has continued to keep public interest and stock rises going by…
Woman Becomes Trapped in Infinite Hashtag Loop
In what may be one of the most important events in the study of sociophysics, longtime social media guru Nancy Krupp found herself in an infinite hashtag loop that has…
The Hunger Games Not the Reason He Took Up Archery, Claims Local Man
In an effort to quell rumors about his questionable taste in film and literature, newfound archery enthusiast Charles Reynolds held a press conference today to proclaim that he is not…
Obama Kicks Off Terror Busters Campaign
If there’s something strange in the global hood, who you gonna call?” President Obama flipped the table and shouted, “Terror Busters!”
North Korea Claims Work Farms Misrepresented
In an effort to promote their respect for international human rights, North Korea released a marketing campaign recently in order to showcase the improvements the country has made to its…
Oakland Raiders Fans Fight to Overturn FCC Blackout Ruling
Opponents of the FCC ruling include fans of the Oakland Raiders, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and Tennessee Titans, who will now be forced to watch their teams on local television.
Good Samaritan On Way Home to Finish Conspiracy Manifesto
Proof that conspiracy theorists are just like you and I.
President Obama Asks Americans for Just the Airstrikes
In an attempt to coerce Americans into war, President Obama has promised "just the airstrikes" and that "it won't hurt for long."
Evidence Reveals Ripper Prostitute Victim May Have Had Male DNA on her Clothing
After 126 years, the mystery of the enigmatic Jack the Ripper may be solved as DNA evidence has been found that could be the serial killer's. Or it could just…