Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-15-2013
It’s been a foggy night, and I can’t tell if the stars are there or have all burst and become black holes. No matter. I’ll wing this week’s horoscopes. It…
MLB Baseball: Parody Rankings Week 3
The events at the Boston Marathon were heart-breaking, but the effects of the tragedy can be considered inspiring. Not only were people running towards the explosions to do what they…
Assh*les Unite Against Sodomy
Richmond, Virginia: Yesterday, Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli organized a rally in front of the state court house in support of anti-sodomy laws. Cuccinelli reached out to groups all over…
MLB Baseball: Parody Rankings Week 2
Baseball opened up with as many surprises as there were expectations. SURPRISE! The Astros won their first game. SURPRISE! They haven’t won a game since. So let the predictions of…
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-11-2013
The stars are bastards. They build you up only to break you down, then take the kids, the house, and all of your money so you’re left in a boarding…
North Korea to US: We Could Totally Kick Your Ass. We Just Don’t Feel Like It Right Now
Washington, DC: Today, officials in North Korea issued a strongly worded threat to the US assuring Americans that the North Korean military power is much stronger than theirs. The exact…
Rutgers Coach Mike Rice Fined & Suspended for Impersonating Bobby Knight
Newark, NJ: The biggest news in college basketball may be a different type of March Madness than the NCAA championship tournament, as Rutgers University men’s basketball coach Mike Rice was…
Kevin Ware Wimps Out, Louisville Limps into Final Four
Indianapolis, IN: This weekend, the Louisville Cardinals eked out a win against Duke to limp into the NCAA Final Four. While the win may be huge, there is one story…
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-1-2013
The stars are angry, my friends. I can tell because of my telescope, not because I can see them up close. No, I keep the view protector on, so I…
MLB Baseball: Parody Rankings Week 1
The MLB season is set to begin this Sunday. On Easter. At the same time season 3 of Game of Thrones will premiere. So if that’s not enough to mock…