Newark, NJ: The biggest news in college basketball may be a different type of March Madness than the NCAA championship tournament, as Rutgers University men’s basketball coach Mike Rice was fined and suspended.
The disciplinary actions came when ESPN publicized found footage of Rice physically and verbally abusing players during multiple practices. Now the question remains, “Should Mike Rice be fired?” The Bobby Knight Fan Club says “No.”
The Bobby Knight Fan Club was created the day that Bob Knight threw his first chair, and has remained an underground homage to the coach and those like him. The Mike Rice controversy falls well in line with the Bobby Knight Fan Club Commandment, “Thou Shalt Whip Players Into Shape, Literally.”
“Kids don’t listen,” stated long-time member of the Bobby Knight Fan Club and estranged father of two Ronnie Belluchi. “Sometimes you have to grab ’em by the neck and shake the knowledge into them. Like Bobby Knight!”
Some members defend Mike Rice due to the ability of Bobby Knight to engage multiple sports in basketball practice. “Really, what is basketball but dodgeball where you aim at a basket instead of another kid’s head?” stated semi-professional dodgeball player White Goodman. “Rice’s coaching ability should be awarded, not disciplined.”
Even Bob Knight, whose contract at ESPN is up for renewal after this season, allegedly commented. “Get that f#$king mic out of my face, you f$%king #$%^#@!” While no chair was available, Mr. Knight allegedly threw a stroller at the reporter of The Inept Owl.