Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 5-5-2014
Your future never looked so horrible. Trust Moonbeam Crenshaw. He reads the stars better than words.
US Government Finally Stops Using Internet Explorer Due to National Security Risks
The Department of Homeland Security began putting a plan into action yesterday that would shift government offices away from the use of Internet Explorer.
BP Study Confirms Benefits of Oil Spills
British Petroleum spokesman Gerald McSlick announced the results of a two-year study that proves oil spills may actually be good for the environment.
Parents Still Unsure Why Children are Afraid of 8-Foot Mutant Rabbit
With the Easter holiday over once again, parents are left with the question that remains a mystery in developmental psychology: "Why does my child cry when sitting on the Easter…
Microsoft Warns that Windows XP Systems will Self-Destruct at Midnight
The countdown to extinction began this morning due to the fact that Microsoft's support for the Windows XP operating system will end at some point today.
Congress Offers Campaign Finance Package Deals at Low Low Prices
With the removal of the cap on campaign contributions last week, Congress has begun putting forth methods to entice election buyers.
Supreme Court Ruling on Campaign Donations Re-Opens Door for Pauly Shore
Pauly Shore rejoices over Supreme Court ruling on campaign donations.
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-31-2014
Your future never looked so horrible. Trust Moonbeam Crenshaw. He reads the stars better than words.
Texas Institutes All Creationism Curriculum in Schools
Rick Perry announced the institution of a new curriculum of creationism in state schools that would “teach the controversy.”
Rosie O’Donnell Look-Alike Asks that 8 Year-Old Dress and Act More Like a Girl
The Christian ideals of sexuality and gender identity took a turn for even more ridiculous this past month.