Business
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Benjamin Harrington didn’t buy an iPhone when it first came out. He didn’t fight shoppers to pick up a Wii gaming system when it first came out. The Blackberry and Razr has been updated multiple times, yet Ben Harrington continued on with his bulky “size of his hand” cellular phone. After months of ridicule by his friends for being behind in this technological age, Mr. Harrington vowed to wait day and night for as long as it took to attain the next breakthrough in electronics, whatever it may be.

Staff Bios
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When the child was finally born, the romantic idea of growing up in the city came to an end. Patrick was brought to the outskirts of suburbia on Long Island, and later into the heart of it in a Levit home. It was here that Patrick learned of building snowmen, football, and how to pine away at women much older than him. At 6 years old, 10 was considered way out of his league, which was the exact age of the cute blonde who lived next door to him. Through emotional turmoil such as this, it can be assumed that Patrick would be easily led to writing. Instead, thanks to odd but rather normal family situations, Patrick fantasized about becoming a lawyer and, later on, a therapist. Although the time to run to Law School is at an end, he still listens to people’s problems, although they are usually problems people have with him.

Book Reviews
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Ignatius, thirty years old, oversized and under-bathed, is content to look down upon society while living off of his perpetually buzzed, arthritic mother. When a financial disaster forces him to gain employment, he finds himself the leader of a befuddled workers’ revolt, physically threatened by lesbians, and an unwitting player in a local scandal; all the while bellowing and belching through fits of hypochondria.

Critics Den
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Recently, I saw a preview for a new version of Halloween. That’s right folks, and your old pal Rob Zombie is steering this poopship destroyer to a theatre near you. Thanks Rob Zombie. Thanks for ruining my life, and probably a bunch of other people’s lives, too. You suck. Your music sucks. Your movies suck. I hope you’re proud of yourself. You just mixed up some brass monkey in the Holy Grail.

Critics Den
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If you haven’t heard of Saving Jane… hey, it happens. They had some modest success with their album, Girl Next Door especially once MTV picked up the single of the same name for the theme song of their crappy “Tiara Girls” show. Five months later Universal Records jumped on the bandwagon and re-released the album.

Now, Saving Jane returns with a new offering from their original indie label (Toucan Cove, which sounds entirely too Jimmy Buffett to be real). The band managed what many whiny, angst-ridden rockers cannot manage: to walk away from massive corporate interests in favor of keeping true to their sound and vision. The newest album, “One Girl Revolution,” gives the middle finger to any number of media outlets (and more than a few ex-significant others).

Critics Den
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Sometimes in a world full of movies about CGI superheroes, drunken teenagers, and ass-kicking secret agents, you really just want to kick back with some wacky puppets, some David Bowie music, and one hell of a codpiece. Welcome to Labyrinth.

Critics Den
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Who’s the greatest action hero of the modern age and why?
John McClane that’s who… and why? Well, that IS a discussion boys and girls.
Sit in the lotus way at the foot of SAINT and let me remind you why we love the impossible feats of John McClane over all others.