Christmas Sales Begin for 2009
Citing a sluggish economy and projecting below-par quarterly numbers, major retailers have decided to boost their flagging sales by beginning their pre-holiday sales for 2009.
Over-Eating Believed to Cause Weight Gain
Researchers at UCLA Medical Center believe that they have discovered a possible cause for the country’s skyrocketing obesity rate – overeating. For years, scientists and overweight people have been working…
Mr. Productivity
Before I became the success story that is Kipp Wieland, I once worked at a Holiday Inn here in Cedar Rapids (it has been demolished since). I had dropped out…
The Diary of Keanu Reeves
In this age of gossip, it can be a struggle for an upstanding publication such as ours to find important, verifiable facts about celebrities, whether it be about their political…
Robotic Legs are Just the Beginning
Tired of walking from the refrigerator to the couch? Well, you’re in luck because recently Honda unveiled their latest innovation, the Walking Assist Device, a pair of robotic legs complete…
Beatles Release Audio Recording of Bad Acid Trip
In an effort to keep aging and newly inspired fans salivating for any new piece of Beatles history, Sir Paul McCartney recently released information about a long lost musical track…
The Biography of J-Sin
Unlike the vast majority of The Inept Owl’s writers, J-Sin was not created by the partnership of two human beings. Instead, he sprung forth from a savanna in central Kenya…
Obama Supporters March on White House
Washington, DC: Early this morning, a gathering of about twenty thousand Obama supporters marched on the White House off of Pennsylvania Avenue, and proceeded to set up camp. Secret Service…
Review of O.A.R.’s “All Sides”
About six years ago, I was at one of those cheesy-ass "murder mystery dinner parties." You know... everyone dresses up and acts out a murder mystery with each other, and…
Researchers Concerned About Manpris Activity
Scientists in the nation’s capital are concerned with the drastic increase of “manpris” (Capri pants for men) sightings across the U.S. in recent months. Many believe that the fashion faux…