Colorado Authorities Rescue Silver Balloon-Thing
This past Thursday, both state and local authorities found themselves in a race against time as they attempted an intricate, and possibly fatal, extraction operation over the plains of Colorado.…
Romo Sues Merriam-Webster For Douchebag Definition
Dallas, TX: Tony Romo, mired in an up and down start the last few years, has taken it upon himself to sue Merriam-Webster for their recent updated entry of the…
Swayze’s Widow Discusses What She Won’t Do Now
Hollywood, CA: Two months have passed since Patrick Swayze’s death from pancreatic cancer, and his widow has opted to appear on Oprah for a one-on-one interview with the uber rich…
Gun-Toting Soccer Mom Shot Dead
A very homely soccer mom, who gained national attention when she openly carried a loaded gun to her 5-year-old daughter's game, was shot dead Wednesday along with her husband in…
Government Proposes 1-Hour Work Week
Washington, DC--Faced with a burgeoning budget deficit, today the Obama administration unveiled a plan to help cut down government spending: a one-hour work week. The plan is a federal mandate,…
Late Night Fails at Mocking Letterman
Late night talk shows took a step back last week, with one of the most agitating and disgusting acts ever attained by a late night talk show host: utter failure…
Scientology Faces Fraud; Few Surprised
On Tuesday, a Paris court convicted the Church of Scientology of fraud and fined it more than half a million euros, which is a lot of money, we think —…
Georgia to Feature Sex Offenders for Halloween
In Georgia, sex offenders are restricted from being anywhere a child is present. It is not merely a site ordinance. If a sex offender finds him or herself within a…
So I Married An Axe Murderer: Weirdly Beloved, Reviewed
Cynthia Ceilán gives Cupid the shaft, and goes in search of unconventional love in Weirdly Beloved: Tales of Strange Bedfellows, Odd Couplings, and Love Gone Bad.
It’s Always Sunny Sweeps Emmy’s
With the awards show being filmed a week prior to the televised broadcast, judges and winners were given ample time to replace actual winners with "those actors and actresses exemplify…