Where in the World is Cary Elwes?
Every child of the 80s, and many of the 90s, knows of Cary Elwes. Maybe you didn't know how to spell his name correctly. That's ok. I only just learned…
From The Desk of Conan O’Brien
In light of recent events that have happened between NBC and Conan O'Brien, we were lucky enough to "find" a page of a possible monologue Conan may give when he…
Bears Lineman Found Dead: Bucs Relieved
Greenwood, SC: In a day full of highly insensitive events in the NFL(the Jets winning, the Vikings breathing additional life into Brett Favre’s improbably and perpetually overrated career), perhaps the…
NASA Violates Lemon Laws
The National Aeronautics and Space Administration(NASA) is under investigation by the Better Business Bureau(BBB) in a retail war of some of the longest acronym titles in history. The hot-button topic…
Conservatives Steal Back Idiot Hat From Harry Reid
Washington, DC: For a short stint this week, Senator Harry Reid(D-NV) was the subject of controversy due to quotes in the book "Game Change" that have made even the most…
3 Viewers Agree: Carson Daly is Invaluable
Late night television has never seen the rivalry it has seen this past week, as co-NBCers Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien find themselves in the same time slot in their…
McGwire’s Biceps Speak Out
In an exclusive telephone interview with The Inept Owl, the biceps of world-famous home-run hitter Mark McGwire came clean about the slugger's past behaviors. The following is a transcript of…
Airports Institute Body Cavity Searches
Washington, DC: In an effort to bolster security measures and prevent Nigerian extremists from detonating aircraft on Christian holidays, airports throughout the country have announced plans to begin body cavity…
2010: A Space Oddity
As the years start to whiz by faster (not fast enough until I can retire), I am trying very hard to look for some kind of sign that better times…
Scientists Confirm Convict DNA in Football Players
Cambridge, MA: Yesterday, scientists at Harvard University confirmed what many have long suspected: football players possess more than just athletic prowess; they also possess a gene that leads to criminal…