Unknown Tweeter Follows John Mayer’s Lead
John Mayer, Phish-tour fanatic turned singer/songwriter, announced yesterday that he would be cancelling his Twitter account. The statement, which was only announced on Twitter and miraculously disappeared moments after the…
Horrible Horoscopes: 9-13-2010
Moonbeam Crenshaw continues his quest to run the world's future with his horrible horoscopes. Week of September 13th, 2010.
Britney Spears’ Former Bodyguard Sues for Sexual Harrassment
Fernando Flores, a former bodyguard of Britney Spears, is suing his ex-boss for sexual harrassment. The lawsuit, filed Wednesday, alleges that Ms. Spears exposed herself to Mr. Flores on numerous…
NFL Powder Puff Picks: Week 1
Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some sharp commentary to key games. Last…
BP Spreads Blame For Oil Spill
Washington, DC: British Petroleum, in its latest effort to direct the blame for the summer's tragic Gulf Oil disaster elsewhere, has published a report detailing the names of the companies,…
Homeless Politicians Continue to Campaign
Phoenix, AZ: For the first time in decades, economic troubles have begun to effect what few believed would ever be touched: politicians. "I had to make a choice: cut into…
My Life with Cable
I would like to blame my long absence from The Owl on something exotic, like a pilgrimage to Tibet, a trip to Italy, or even some crippling illness, but it…
Horrible Horoscopes: 9-6-2010
Moonbeam Crenshaw continues his quest to run the world's future with his horrible horoscopes. Week of September 6th, 2010.
Men’s Rights Lawyer Gets Panties In A Twist
New York, NY: While most young men may piss and moan about this unfairness for about two seconds before being distracted by a set of young knockers in a glittery…
NY Cat Burglar Arrested for Failure to Remain Sexy
New York, NY: The infamous New York "cat-burglar", who had only gained attention today after being caught, was brought into police custody today by officers in downtown Manhattan. "The real…