Born Again Roethlisberger Says No to Living with Fiancee, Yes to Hookers
Pittsburgh, PA: In one of the clearest signs yet of Ben Roethlisberger’s futile attempts to change his reputation, the Steelers quarterback has told a Pittsburgh newspaper that his new religious…
Tech Geek Beats SiriusXM with Free Services, $50,000 Car System
Huntington, NY: In the world of the internet, he or she who has the most free toys, wins. One savvy techno-whiz, Paul Shenker, took this idea to the outer limits…
Ask An Owl: Fun with Radiation
Your fear of radiation, while probably well intended, is faulted. There is nothing wrong with having a few thousand rems flash through your body. Some say, "Oh, but I live…
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-28-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw reads the stars through a cloudy night in order to tell us what to expect. Allegedly.
Meet the Boy who Visited Heaven and Played with Jesus’ Purple Headband
Imperial, NE: After a burst appendix nearly cost 4-year-old Colton Burpo his life in 2003, his parents were thankful just to have him alive and well. But when he opened…
Dick Clark Defeats Elizabeth Taylor in Death Pools, Tontine
Bel Aire, CA: After years of waiting while younger, more surprising celebrities passed on, the final chapter of death pools worldwide was closed yesterday. Dick Clark has defeated Elizabeth Taylor.
Supermoon Terrorizes East Coast
New York, NY: This past weekend tragedy struck, as that orbiting chunk of rock, the moon, came a whole 2 inches closer to the Earth than usual. The proximity caused…
Charlie Sheen Done with Drugs, Now Selling Coffee and Animal Blood
Hollywood/Chicago: The beat goes on for Charlie Sheen. Now content with taking only the drug known as ‘Charlie Sheen’, Sheen has traded his addiction to drugs and hookers in for…
Woman Arrested on St. Patrick’s Day for Being Sober
Unfortunately, someone always has to take things too far, and spoil the fun for everyone. This year, 23 year old Manhattan resident Stacey Fueller was the culprit. At about 1:45pm,…