Bill Clinton Affirms Status as Sexiest President
Charlotte, NC: Wednesday night, former president Bill Clinton delivered a speech in front of the Democratic National Convention that defined the term “Silver Fox”. Obama could only stand offstage and…
NFL Powder Puff Picks 2012: Week 1
Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some the greatest preview commentary in the…
Chair Stuns Polls in Surprise 2012 Election Campaign
Tampa, FL: Last week, the Republican National Committee was awarded a surprise for showing up to portray their support for Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan: Clint Eastwood, talking to a…
Chair 2012
Nobody asked, but we did it for you anyway. Election 2012 kicks into high gear for the fall push with the greatest presidential nominee: CHAIR! Now you can commit yourself…
Florida Law Defines Life as Beginning at Drunken College Party
Gainesville, FL: Governor Rick Scott of Florida, in reaction to Arizona passing their “life begins two weeks before conception” law, has signed a bill redefining life as starting even earlier.…
Rosie O’Donnell Fights for Relevancy
Los Angeles, CA: Actress/talk show host Rosie O’Donnell, who recently had a heart attack, vows to come back bigger than ever…if that’s possible. Rosie’s wife, Michelle Rounds, stated, “To say…
Celebrities Plan Migration to Fallout Shelters After Prince Harry Debacle
Las Vegas, NV: With the latest Prince Harry adventure, where he was found playing strip billiards, being released to the public, celebrities across the globe have been closing ranks in…
Roger Clemens to Follow Long Tradition of Has-Beens in Independent League
Sugar Land, TX: Don’t call it a comeback, but Roger Clemens will be pitching in the minor leagues this weekend. The baseball legend will start Saturday against the Bridgeport Blue…
Mitt Romney’s European Vacation
Everywhere, EUROPE: After a gaff-filled tour through Europe two weeks ago, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney decided to take himself and his family on a well-deserved break exploring the wilderness…
Wilfred VS A Boy and His Dog: A Ridiculous Psychoanalysis
FX Network’s psychological comedy, Wilfred, may well be one of the most complicated television shows in history. It falls right behind David Lynch’s Twin Peaks, but just before J.J. Abrams’…