Alec Balwin Attacks Reporter Asking About Attack on Reporter Asking About Attack On…
New York, NY: Someone give Alec Baldwin a time out! He has now pummeled three members of the press–and counting. The latest reporter to feel the wrath of Alec was…
Researching Potential VPs, Journalist Dies of Boredom
Washington, DC: For months now, journalists around the country and the world have been entering hospital emergency rooms with complaints of headaches, nausea and a myriad of other symptoms, and…
Burger King Launches More Bacon
Miami, FL: This week, Burger King’s ambitious new product line becomes available to customers. Going along with the release of the much talked-about sundae last week, the products are all…
Henry Hill: Good (Dead)Fella
Somewhere, UNITED STATES: Henry Hill, the Mafioso man and FBI informant whose sordid life the Martin Scorsese film, Good Fellas, was based on, died on June 12th at the age…
Lindsay Lohan Does Dick…in Liz and Dick
Los Angeles, CA: Lindsay Lohan, currently shooting Lifetime’s TV movie, Liz and Dick, reportedly is so determined to prove that she isn’t a drunk detriment to a film set (and…
Scott Walker Announces Plans for Second Term
Madison, WI: Today, in the wake of his reelection as governor, Scott Walker held a rally at the capitol to give an idea of his policies going forward. “This was…
Bath Salt Dealers Rush to Save Face
Imagine being a businessman with a hot new product that practically sells itself. Then, imagine that product taking a beating in the press and internet, rendering the product an extremely…
Vatican Releases New Line of Books for Children
The Vatican, ITALY: Today Pope Benedict XVI blessed several new titles being published by the Vatican Press. The books, four in total, are directed towards children with the intention of…
New Yorkers Critical of Santana’s Imperfect No-Hitter
Flushing, NY: The critical eye of New York cast its gaze upon the Mets once again, as ace pitcher Johan Santana pitched a complete no-hitter against the St. Louis Cardinals…
While We Were Bored: Jeffrey Dahmer Did It First, Miami
With the zombie apocalypse beginning in Miami, it was only a matter of time before some hipster would have taken all the credit. With that, we introduce Jeffrey Dahmer from…