Canada PM Justin Theroux Arrives in Washington
Washington, DC – History was made this week when Canadian Prime Minister Justin Theroux landed in Washington, DC for allegedly his first official trip in twenty years. The last time…
Obama Kicks Off Terror Busters Campaign
If there’s something strange in the global hood, who you gonna call?” President Obama flipped the table and shouted, “Terror Busters!”
Chipotle Asks Customers Not to Bring Their Ancient, Mystical Weapons Into Restaurants
Chipotle Mexican Grill has formally requested that customers leave behind their ancient weapons of unspecified mystical power when eating at their restaurants.
Public Demands More Original Titles to Government Scandals After “Bridgegate”
Citizens across the United States are rallying for swift and immediate changes to the names of scandals like Bridgegate.
Future Common Core Graduate Optimistic about Finding Job Taking Standardized Tests
How will children answer the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up" under Common Core?
Pro-Gun Activists Barred from Marching Against Moms to Capitol Hill
Countless gun violence survivors and families of victims marched on Capitol Hill today and, already, pro-gun activists have begun claiming that their rights are being violated.
US Government Finally Stops Using Internet Explorer Due to National Security Risks
The Department of Homeland Security began putting a plan into action yesterday that would shift government offices away from the use of Internet Explorer.
BP Study Confirms Benefits of Oil Spills
British Petroleum spokesman Gerald McSlick announced the results of a two-year study that proves oil spills may actually be good for the environment.
Rosie O’Donnell Look-Alike Asks that 8 Year-Old Dress and Act More Like a Girl
The Christian ideals of sexuality and gender identity took a turn for even more ridiculous this past month.
White House Launches Climate Change Website More Confusing than Weather.com
With healthcare.gov and state-run healthcare information websites still buggy, the White House has begun to digitize the education of another important platform: climate change.