Canada PM Justin Theroux Arrives in Washington
Washington, DC – History was made this week when Canadian Prime Minister Justin Theroux landed in Washington, DC for allegedly his first official trip in twenty years. The last time…
Weather Term “Polar Vortex” Officially Overused
The weather term polar vortex has officially jumped the shark.
Chris Farley Found Alive and Well in Toronto
It seems that Chris Farley is alive, and has been secretly running Toronto as his alter-ego, Rob Ford.
Canadians Mourn, Americans Unaware of NHL Lockout
This week marks the beginning of at least two weeks of canceled professional hockey games due to a league-wide lockout–much to the surprise of American sports fans, who were not…
Canada Nixes Penny; US to Reintroduce Half Cent
Toronto, Canadialand—Today, the Canadian government announced a decision to no longer use the Canadian penny. Due to inflation, a lack of coin purses, and the fact that Coinstar charges more…
Shia LaBeouf Decides on Fallback Career
Vancouver, BC- CANADA: Shia LaBeouf, the awkward-looking "star" of the famously horrific 'Transformers' franchise has, after much consideration, decided on his fallback career. LaBeouf knows that, sooner or later, his…
Local Idiot Prepares for Canadian Thanksgiving
New York, NY: The holiday season is gearing up for its launch as Halloween looms closer. For one citizen, the holiday season is already here, as Paul Emmerlan prepares to…
Hurricane Irene to Strike Greenland with a Vengeance
Quaqortoq, GREENLAND: The path of hurricane Irene has been set to ride the mid to north-eastern coast of the United States, causing residents to panic in their own ways. However,…
Citizens of Vancouver Apologize for Rioting with More Rioting
Vancouver BC, CANADA: Last week the imaginable happened: Canadians were so riled up about a Stanley Cup Finals series loss that they took to the streets to show Oakland, Los…