Life Expectancy of Westboro Baptists Less Than Life Expectancy of Picket Signs
Oklahoma City, OK: When NBA basketball player Jason Collins came out as gay, there was one reaction that the world could count on: the Westboro Baptist Church members holding up…
Florida Man Decides Bangladesh Ain’t No Real Place
Odessa, FL: If there is one thing that Travis Grauman is good at, it’s shoplifting. By his own estimation, he has stolen hundreds of dollars worth of candy and disposable…
George W Bush Opens Library of ‘Merica
Dallas, Texas: On Thursday, George W. Bush presided over the opening of his presidential library, the George W. Bush Library of ‘Merica. The name was chosen to represent the former…
Vegan Angry After Being Served Grass-Fed Wheatgrass
Toluca Lake, CA: On Monday, Betty Moonshadow felt abnormally tired after an especially long day at the free range chicken farm she manages with her life partner and decided she…
George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum Resurrects Old Political Jokes
Dallas, TX— It seemed too good to be true. George W. Bush, the former president of the United States who had launched hundreds of grammatically incorrect quotes and slogans, will…
Curt Shilling Alive and Well Annoying Public after Boston Bombing
Boston, MA: In the wake of the bombing at the Boston Marathon, the sports world was riveted in an extremely quiet celebration when it was believed that former Red Sox…
Americans Mistake Chechens for Alien Race in Defiance
Boston, MA: As the dust has settled and suspects are gathered up in relation to the bombing at the Boston Marathon, it seems that more questions than answers are rising.…
Ryan Gosling Role of Hollywood Hottie to be Filled by Joe Schmo
Tampa, FL: Last month, it was announced that Canadian actor Ryan Gosling would be taking a break from acting. Gosling held a press conference at the Beverly Hills Hotel to…
Congress Passes Gun Control
Washington, DC: Today, a joint commission of Republicans and Democrats called a press conference to announce they had finally come to an agreement and passed landmark gun control legislation, an…
Boston Marathon Cowboy to get Own TV Doctor Series
Boston, MA: In the wake of the devastation of the Boston Marathon, one beacon of light ran into our lives, literally. He showed not only how strong human compassion is,…