Canadians Mourn, Americans Unaware of NHL Lockout
This week marks the beginning of at least two weeks of canceled professional hockey games due to a league-wide lockout–much to the surprise of American sports fans, who were not…
Review of The Avett Brothers’ “The Carpenter”
Apparently I owe my thousands of readers an apology. It appears I suck as a music reviewer. No no, please stop protesting. While I appreciate your love and support, I…
Obama Hits Reddit; Romney to Answer Questions on Myspace
This week, President Barack Obama visited the well-known unoriginal-content-spreading site reddit to reach out to voters. Obama, who has always been on the cutting edge of social media with such…
Storms Cause Critical Loss to Millions
Columbus, OH: As cleanup begins following a line of storms that tore through the Midwest on Friday, millions of people have been left without the most critical component of modern…
Canada Nixes Penny; US to Reintroduce Half Cent
Toronto, Canadialand—Today, the Canadian government announced a decision to no longer use the Canadian penny. Due to inflation, a lack of coin purses, and the fact that Coinstar charges more…
Chiefs Sign the Wrong Peyton
Kansas City, MO—Today a spokesperson for the NFL’s Kansas City Chiefs proudly revealed that they had made a major free-agent acquisition, only to realize they had signed the wrong player.…
Ohio Man Has Never Heard Mariah Carey Christmas Songs
Berea, OH: Earlier this week, scientists made a one-of-a-kind discovery: a man who has never once listened to a Christmas carol performed by singer Mariah Carey. At a press release…
Occupy Wall Street to Become Occupy Macy’s
New York City--Having been kicked out of various parks, bridges, and underpasses across New York City, the two-month-old Occupy Wall Street movement has decided to select a new location for…
Papa John to Enter Presidential Race
Louisville, KY: Bolstered by the success of former Godfather's Pizza CEO Herman Cain in early Republican polling, the founder of Papa John's Pizza has decided to throw his hat into…
Review of Hugh Laurie’s “Let Them Talk”
This is what happens when you give every kid in the soccer league a trophy. This is what happens when you hold up movie and television stars as idols. They…