Tampa, FL: Last week, the Republican National Committee was awarded a surprise for showing up to portray their support for Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan: Clint Eastwood, talking to a chair.
While many political pundits believed the event to be nothing more than a senile actor trying too hard to be funny for too long, the real surprise came this weekend, as the chair became not only the most talked about political event of the decade, but gained overwhelming support to become a potential presidential candidate on the Independent ticket.
Sporting slogans such as, “Support Chair, because Chair Supports You” and “A Vote for Truth, A Vote for America”, the campaign for Chair in the 2012 election literally grew over-night to incorporate the fundamentals of marketing a campaign: a Facebook page was set up; an online store was created to spread the word with T-shirts and underwear; the meme, “Eastwooding” was created, making the activity the most viral political meme in so short a time.
The ideas of Chair are simple, yet have been lost in politics for decades: honesty, resilience, and the courage to do what it believes with even the most stout criticism. Already detractors have begun questioning Chair’s qualifications for the presidency.
“Chair’s age hasn’t been cleared yet with his manufacturing company. We don’t even know if it was made in America yet,” stated Tea Party activist Marshall Pinetti. “It doesn’t even have a last name. How can it even get on the ballot?”
Still, the Chair campaign pushes”The American people have become jaded for years about politics,” explained campaign manager Paul Emmerlan. “If it takes a chair to get them to believe again, who are we to stop such progress?”
Unfortunately, this latest campaign may saturate the Independent ticket, as Libertarian Gary Johnson has been making huge campaign pushes all season. It remains to be seen if he will become the next Ralph Nader or Ron Paul.