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Paul Walker Death Apparently Not Related to International Street Racing Crime Sydicate

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Santa Clarita, CA: It has been a sad weekend for action movie and car enthusiasts alike, as The Fast and the Furious franchise star Paul Walker died in a car crash on Saturday, leaving behind countless fans claiming not to know what to do with their lives next now that their favorite car-racing action star has passed away.

“Seriously, it was all about Paul Walker,” stated local gar nut Lance Ellington. “Vin Diesel did shit like The Pacifier, but Walker was awesome. Because, he like, you know, had…cars…”

While most fans have struggled to find the words to explain how they felt due to Walker’s passing, others had begun formulating ideas as to why it happened. Once such theory was that Walker had been involved in a international car-racing crime spree where he had been forced to race against time with the driver at the time, Roger Rodas, in a 2005 Porsche Carrera GT, in order to save a Filippino family that had been kidnapped by Russian meth-lords during Typhoon Haiyan.

Currently, the tip of a second car being involved has been debunked. Speed added to amateur racing skills only artificially strengthened by celebrity status, seems to be the cause.

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