Tis the season to get cranky, especially when it comes to Christmas songs.

It’s not that I’m a Grinch, or waging war on Christmas, or even dislike Christmas songs all that much. It is the overwhelming repetition of the holiday classics to the point that radio stations have 10 holiday songs that they put on a loop the day after Thanksgiving.

So I offer you a break from the madness. Here are some Christmas songs that you will never hear on the radio. Feel free to play them repetitiously for the next month.

WARNING: Most of these are NSFW


O Holy Night

By: Eric Cartman (South Park)


Fairytale of New York

By: The Pogues


Christmas at Ground Zero

By: Weird Al Yankovic



Christmas Time in Hell

By: Satan (South Park)


Christmas in Hollis

By: Run-DMC


Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo

By: South Park



The 12 Pains of Christmas

By: Bob Rivers


Merry Fucking Christmas

By: Mr. Garrison (South Park)


Merry Motherfuckin Christmas

By: Eazy-E


Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

By: Mr. Hankey (South Park)

By FascistEditor

As the managing editor of The Inept Owl, Patrick has sworn to uphold the honor and integrity of hard-hitting journalism...but only on Sundays at 10am.