Victory Over Sock Puppet Bolsters Rick Santorum in 2012 Election

| December 30, 2011 | 0 Comments

Muscatine, IA: On the road to presidential nomination for the 2012 election, no Republican candidate’s path to anointment by the GOP has been easy. This was particularly true for former senator Rick Santorum as he scraped the bottom of the polls at the beginning of his campaign.

Now as the Iowa caucuses come to a close, Santorum finds himself climbing the polls. While some political pundits see this as the result of political missteps by other candidates, it is actually Santorum’s debate capabilities that have helped him on his quest to campaign legitimacy. Not debate prowess versus Michele Bachmann, nor Mitt Romnet, Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry, or Ron Paul, but his scathing debates against Libby, his sock-puppet sidekick.

Libby was introduced after the December 15th Republican debate in Sioux City, IA. The sock-puppet toured with Santorum during the rest of the trip around the state, being used during all political rallies to help explain the issues the candidate is promoting with his presidential campaign.

The background of the sock-puppet is that Libby, also known as Liberace Kennedy, is a 23 year old male sock-puppet immigrant in a polygamous, homosexual marriage with legendary sock-puppets Sifl & Olly. Libby has had 4 abortions, which would seem impossible for a male species, and single-handedly caused radical feminism that steered women away from their duties in the home.

“When you ask Santorum directly about controversial issues such as his belief that liberalism was the cause of clergy sex abuse inBoston Roman Catholic churches, his stance on intelligent design, and his idea about putting a giant, white picket fence along the border of the United States and Mexico, his reasoning seems illogical,” explained political correspondent Larry Blitzer. “But when you see him defend these positions against a sock-puppet, it made some Iowans think for a moment.”

As polling stands, a whopping 75% of conservative Iowans would vote Rick Santorum for president over Libby the sock-puppet. This is an incredible rise from the mere 2% in the polling done when Libby was first introduced.

Written by Patrick AE

Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man…. When he isn’t writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from bloodthirsty seals, and other activities that could be truths or lies, he’s probably writing at The Critics Den, Sports Jeer, or CBS’ Man Cave Daily.

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Category: Politics

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