Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-15-2013
It’s been a foggy night, and I can’t tell if the stars are there or have all burst and become black holes. No matter. I’ll wing this week’s horoscopes. It…
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-11-2013
The stars are bastards. They build you up only to break you down, then take the kids, the house, and all of your money so you’re left in a boarding…
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-1-2013
The stars are angry, my friends. I can tell because of my telescope, not because I can see them up close. No, I keep the view protector on, so I…
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-25-2013
Fortune cookies are played out. Instead, live your life based on what I say. Trust me. I’m an astrologist. I have the on-line diploma to prove it. So, here are…
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-18-2013
Well readers, I’m back. After going to Psychic School for a year (yes, it IS a thing), I have returned to do what I do best: tell you how to…
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 11-15-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to misread the stars to prepare you for the week!
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 10-10-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw reads the starts. He's also illiterate.
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 9-19-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to tell you your future, for better or for worse.
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 8-24-2011
Our inept astrologer Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to read our horoscopes!
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 8-8-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns with his dyslexic horoscope readings!