Researching Potential VPs, Journalist Dies of Boredom
Washington, DC: For months now, journalists around the country and the world have been entering hospital emergency rooms with complaints of headaches, nausea and a myriad of other symptoms, and…
Scott Walker Announces Plans for Second Term
Madison, WI: Today, in the wake of his reelection as governor, Scott Walker held a rally at the capitol to give an idea of his policies going forward. “This was…
Ron Paul Unveils New Slogan: Restore America, Eventually
Lake Jackson, TX: In a press release today, the Ron Paul 2012 campaign announced that their slogan would be changing from “Restore America Now” to “Restore America Eventually” in order…
Gingrich Concedes He Didn’t Really Want Nomination Anyway
New York, NY: In a press conference on Friday, Newt Gingrich revealed that he wasn’t really that interested in becoming the Republican nominee to run against Obama in November. “It’s…
The 2012 Republican Debate in Florida: An Oblivious Pictorial Review
The second Republican debate in Florida was held yesterday, pitting the political powerhouses Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich, and some guy named Rick against each other in a battle…
New Jersey Lobbies for Giants Super Bowl Parade to be Held on Turnpike
East Rutherford, NJ: A decades-long debate was reopened once again on Wednesday as New Jersey governor Chris Christie opened his big mouth without any intention of putting food in it.…
Mitt Romney Admits to Not Tying Dog to Roof for 2012 Campaign
Bedford, NH: Presidential campaign trails are full of the philosophies, hopes, and successes of those that are running. These sparks are what ignite the fuel within voters to inspire them…
Santorum Salad Invokes Proof of Unintelligent Design
Boone, IA: For years, the term "Santorum" had two meanings in the world, or at least the internet. One meaning had to do with the former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum.…
Victory Over Sock Puppet Bolsters Rick Santorum in 2012 Election
Muscatine, IA: As the Iowa caucuses come to a close, Santorum finds himself climbing the polls. While some political pundits see this as the result of political missteps by other…
Rick Perry Bus Mix-Up Starts Off Tour
Council Bluffs, IA: Texas Governor Rick Perry gave his presidential campaign a jump-start today with the beginning of a 42-city tour in Iowa in order to strengthen his bid during…