Cards Against Humanity Releases Holiday Bullsh*t
The good people of Cards Against Humanity have released a treat for only the bravest derelicts. It's called "12 Days of Bullshit" where, for $12, they will send you 12…
North Koreans Executed for Watching George Clooney Movies
North Korea continued to put more pressure over its people as, earlier this month, eighty people were executed in public displays for watching George Clooney movies.
Blockbuster Reminds Customers of Existence by Closing Stores
Blockbuster, the home movie rental company that had introduced the American family to such historical relics as "VHS tapes" and "DVDs," surprised consumers by alerting them to the fact that,…
Vote to Extend Breaking Bad Goes Unheeded
The American public became just a bit more jaded by politics yesterday, as the most coordinated write-in vote in the history of US elections was left ignored.
Congress Celebrates Survival of Election Day 2013
Election Day 2013 went off with minor casualties yesterday, as all current members of the United States House of Representatives and the Senate were victorious in protecting their places in…
Russia Pleads for Snowden to Release Bogus Secrets on Website
To have Snowden performing analyses and maintenance on the site could allow the release of fake reports and foreign policy that would make Russia feared once again, by more than…
Scientists Celebrate Failure to Find Jack Shit in Dark Matter
Scientists were proud to exclaim that they haven't found jack shit in evidence of dark matter using the LUX.
Cat Fans Protest Internet Takeover by Giraffes
A virus has begun to spread at an alarming rate, a virus that just may threaten all that we love and hold dear. At least, what we love and hold…
Russell Brand to Kickstart Apathetic Revolution
In an interview with BBC News broadcaster Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight, erratic comedian-turned erratic political theorist Russell Brand symbolically fired the latest shot of a revolution. An apathetic, philosophical revolution,…
Halloween Costumes for the Poor and Sarcastic: 2013 Edition
This year, we're being pro-active in our approach to Halloween by telling you all what the top costumes of the season will be for the apathetic and sarcastic on a…