Marco Rubio Pledges to be More Latino, Moist
Tallahassee, Florida: In a press conference today in his home state, Senator Marco Antonio Ricardo Carlos Velasquez Rubio announced that he was going “Full-Latino”, adding at the end of his…
State of the Union 2013: Obama and the GOP Find Common Ground in Finger-Pointing
Washington, DC: Obama’s state of the union speech and the GOP’s response agreed on a common point: That it’s all the other guy’s fault. Obama came out smiling and looking…
Super Bowl XLVII Blackout Blamed on Terrorists, Beyoncé’s Dress
New Orleans, LA: On Sunday, a nation of viewers tuned in to witness two things unable to hold a charge, one expected and one unexpected. The expected power outage was…
Opponents to Women in Military Insist They’re Not Misogynists
All across the country, people have been reacting to Defense Secretary Leon Panetta’s announcement last week that officially rescinded the rule banning women from serving in combat positions. This decision…
Coach Obama’s Locker Room Inauguration Speech
Washington, DC: A crowd of not-so-many supporters gathered on the not-as-cold mall to watch the not-as-exciting Obama become the 44th President, take two, of the United States. It was a…
Oregon Bill Introduces New Era of Taxes on Not Doing Stuff
Salem, OR: In the upcoming legislative session, Oregon lawmakers are set to consider imposing a tax on fuel-efficient vehicles for revenue lost from drivers not purchasing gasoline. The law would…
NRA Proposes New Solution: Weaponized Schoolchildren
Washington, DC: NRA Vice President Wayne LaPierre, who was brought out of his concrete bunker last week, has proposed to Congress that schoolchildren be prepared to avoid another tragedy like…
Congress Debates Cliff-ness of Fiscal Cliff
Washington, DC: In a display of focus and efficiency that has been characteristic of the US Congress, our elected officials have buckled down for a vigorous debate on what the…
Fans Gear Up for New Season of Mid-East War
Jerusalem, ISRAEL: The blogosphere and fan wiki pages are on fire with the announcement of a new season of Mid-East War, the internationally acclaimed sitcom starring the incorrigible free spirit…
CORRECTION: Obama Defeats Romney
Chicago, IL: We here at the Inept Owl would like to apologize for our previous article, which may have insinuated somehow that Romney had won the 2012 election. We’re just…