Our asinine political analysis breaks down Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein.


Name: Dr. Jill Stein

Nickname: That Damn Hippie

Political Affiliation: Green Party

Status: Declared

Known For:  Running for president as a 3rd party candidate with the intention of winning.

Likes: Civil Rights, Mother Earth, Getting Arrested, Woodstock Revivals

Dislikes: Pollution, Common Core, The Man

Public Outlook: Dr. Jill Stein has touted herself as the presidential choice when Bernie Sanders’ fails to gain enough super-delegates, stating, “We will be the Plan B for Bernie.” She’s also not one of those candidates that says, “I got arrested” to look cool. She’s still getting arrested for civil disobedience, although her marches are getting fewer and further between with age.

Pros: Jill Stein has much more hipster points than Bernie Sanders.

Cons: May have to pardon herself multiple times while in office.

Quote: “Hillary is the Wal-Mart candidate.”

Check out all of the 2016 presidential candidates by clicking here.

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.