Our asinine political analysis breaks down Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson.


Name: Gary Johnson

Nickname: Rebel Whisper

Political Affiliation: Libertarian Party

Status: Declared

Known For: Governor of New Mexico 1995 – 2003, Mumbling during debates in 2012

Likes: Guns, Weed, School Vouchers

Dislikes: Obamacare, Government, Ironing his suit

Public Outlook: On paper, Gary Johnson looks like a presidential candidate rebelling against the system, a candidate running to become president in order to do away with the presidency. You know, Libertarianism. Unfortunately, Gary Johnson looks more like a poor, down-trodden public defendant in public and especially debates than a strong presidential candidate.

Pros: Could stir the pot of politics. Again.

Cons: Would probably veto his own bills to make a point if he ever became president.

Quote: “At the earliest age, when I saw a ‘wet paint’ sign, I had to touch the paint to see if it was wet. When I get stopped at the stoplight in the middle of the night, and there’s just no cars coming, and the light is red, I go. I don’t think I’m putting anyone in harm’s way, and I’ll just take the consequences. Because I’m a Libertarian.”

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By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.