Our asinine political analysis breaks down Republican presidential candidate John Kasich.


Name: John Kasich

Nickname: Not Kusich, or Kucinish

Political Affiliation: Republican Party

Status: Not Dennis Kucinich

Known For: Governor of Ohio 2011 – Present

Likes: Banks, NAFTA, Common Core, vanilla wafers

Dislikes: Commerce regulation, deportation, striped socks, seasoning

Public Outlook: Kasich seems to be the Republican answer to Martin O’Malley: boring, white, and moderate with a conservative spin both in age and policies. There is some speculation that Kasich may be able to leap-frog to the candidacy based on name recognition from his 2000 presidential campaign as well as being easily referred to as Kusich, which could lead Democratic voters to think they were voting for Dennis Kucinich if Kasich gained the Republican nomination.

Pros: Doesn’t scare America as much as other Republican candidates.

Cons: The “Kasich Action Plan” just doesn’t have the same ring to it as “The Square Deal” or “The New Deal.”

Quote: “If you’re not on the bus, we’ll run over you with the bus.”

Check out all of the 2016 presidential candidates by clicking here.

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.