Our asinine political analysis breaks down Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump.


Name: Donald Trump

Nickname: The Donald

Political Affiliation: Republican Party

Status: Active to public, already president in Trump’s opinion

Known For: Real Estate, Reality Television, Bad Hair

Likes: TV Ratings, Twitter, Money, Making Deals, U.S. Isolationism, Having Foreigners Build Things For Him

Dislikes: Discussing Issues, Comparing Politics to Business Management, Dominatrixes

Public Outlook: Supporters of Donald Trump seem to be slit in terms of the issues: some supporters actually believe in the ideas that Trump seems to brain vomit in front of a camera or on Twitter; other supporters seem to be in the mindset of, “F*&k it, let’s turn Washington upside down.” Non-supporters of Trump are waiting for Peter Funt to come out from behind a curtain and yell, “You’re on Candid Camera!”

Pros: The television ratings on Trump’s presidency would be amazing, and the entire nation could be remodeled: a wall on the southern border, maybe a nice back porch on the West Coast, a pool house around Hawaii, and maybe a huge roof to really close the nation up.

Cons: Could turn America into everything we hate about North Korea, Russia, and Nazi Germany all rolled into one. Or Trump could attempt to trade his position as president in return for land rights to build another golf course.

Quote: “I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.”

Check out all of the 2016 presidential candidates by clicking here.


By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.