sad_joe_biden

Washington D.C.— There is still a Republican Party in Washington, but don’t tell Vice President Joe Biden because he’s in denial that he missed it.

In a statement at the House Democratic Caucus Retreat on Friday to help jump-start House Democrats in this year’s elections, Biden proclaimed, “There isn’t a Republican party. I wish there were, because I would be there in a second, but there isn’t. So let’s just make the best of it and have a party here. The best party ever!”

While Biden seemed to be making the best of not being invited to the Republican party, which would have, “huge-ass balloons, a 5-tier cake filled with ice cream and jellybeans, and a clown and/or Justin Bieber” by the Vice President’s account, there was an air of remorse and even resentment when he was not on-stage.

Prior to his speech, Biden was seen flailing on the ground in a tantrum, punching and kicking the air as he screamed, “I wanna go! I wanna go!” repeatedly. Later, Biden was found on the floor of the bathroom, huddled in a corner as he mumbled, “I don’t even care. Stupid Republicans and there stupid parties,” between sobs.

While Biden’s reactions to not being invited to the Republican party may seem self-serving due to recent congressional polls, it is safe to say that the Democratic Party needs to hold their own party quickly with this year’s election rapidly looming closer.

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.