Moscow, RUSSIA— It took over 50 years, but Russia was finally able to overtake the United States in the international mockery race today with news that Washington D.C. would be closed on account of snow. The media in Russia reports that the United States government closing down due to the weather has led to an out-pouring of Russian wit that had not been seen since the propaganda days of Joseph Stalin.
President Vladimir Putin of Russia exclaimed that it “felt refreshing” to know that Russians could finally one-up Americans in something, no matter how long it may last. “American government offices close down with much snow,” Putin quipped. “In Russia, we live in government offices! Ha ha! See!? I make funny!”
While most Russian jokes about America’s issues with snow may seem bland, unfunny, and entirely off the wayward path of conventional political humor to those outside of Russia, it is a proud moment for Russia. The nation has endured continuous mockery since it became a democracy in 1991, from its free market aspirations, neglected space program, and election proceedings. Russia became the butt of incessant mockery once again during the Winter Olympics in Sochi due to toilet issues and kidnapping threats. Now Russia has pulled ahead of the United States in multinational mockery, even if it is only for a short while.
“Russia and United States always be in some sort of race: Space Race; Nuclear Arms Race; Olympic Race; Amazing Race, ” stated President Putin. “Always Russia begin race and America overtake us. Now Russia overtake America in Joke Race. Is very good honor.”
One of the most used joke forms by Russians has been “In Snowed-In United States,” a Russian twist to the “In Soviet Russia” jokes that have garnered laughs since the 1960s and became notorious in the 1980s with comedian Yakov Smirnoff. Such jokes include:
- “In snowed-in United States, snow bury you.”
- “In snowed-in United States, roads are shut down.”
- “In snowed-in United States, Americans forced to do manual labor.”
While the jokes seem to be lacking a hard-hitting punchline, some comedians believe there is potential to the Russian mockery of Americans who are being controlled by the weather. “The Russians are fighting too hard for a typical joke,” explained American comedian Paul Emmerlan. “They need to really get into the word-play. Like, ‘In snowed-in United States, Snowden finds you.’ It’s simple, political, yet highly affective.”
Emmerlan, along with many other American comedians, have already begun operations to overtake Russia in mocking the United States government and snow.