New York, NY: The Super Bowl was once again a talking point for ridiculously serious political debate, even after the interview of President Obama by Bill O’Reilly, when Coca-Cola revealed it crown jewel of commercials: the singing of “America the Beautiful” in multiple languages.
The commercial created a wave of American nationalism as countless, seemingly Native Americans, took to social media to express their disgust over how a song that is not their national anthem was sullied by it being sung in multiple languages.
“Coke should be damn ashamed for having our national anthem, ‘Amurica the Beautiful,’ sung by any language other than the official language of the U-S-of-A!” screamed local American Bobby McBobby.
When asked what he thought the official language of the United States was, Mr. McBobby began guessing as our reporter shook her head. “English? American? What?” When asked what importance “The Star-Spangled Banner” had if he believed “America the Beautiful” was the national anthem, McBobby stated, “Well, we’ve got two of them anthems, right?”
The outcry against the Coca-Cola commercial was not limited merely to ignorant Americans. Billions of people worldwide expressed disgust that their language was sullied by being incorporated into “America the Beautiful.”
“The last thing I want to hear is my native tongue singing is a song in English about American imperialism,” exclaimed Chinese citizen Li Phong through a translator. “This is propaganda that even the People’s Republic of China could not touch during the days of Chairman Mao.”
“‘America the Beautiful’? Have you seen that show Jersey Shore? Nothing beautiful about that,” exclaimed local Iranian Omar Khalaji.