Washington DC: The government loan default deadline is creeping closer and closer during the shutdown and, while most senators are optimistic that a deal will be arranged to reopen the government and extend the debt ceiling for several months, some politicians are not so sure.
The most horrifying scene that all may be lost came on Columbus Day, when President Obama was found in a cafeteria kitchen, making bologna sandwiches.
“I was beside myself this morning when a knock came at our door before we opened, and there was Mr. President standing before me, asking if there were any odd jobs he could do,” stated chief lunch lady Marge Anderson. “I set him up with a hair-net, apron, and latex gloves, and told him to hop to it.”
What was even more amazing was how organized President Obama’s sandwich-making capabilities seemed to be, as he lined up countless slices of white bread, laid out the bologna and American Cheese on them, and closed them off with grace. Still, such care was regarded as more a waste of time than useful.
“It was interesting to see Mr. President make sandwiches but, really, we’re here to get some food in people’s bellies. They don’t care how the sandwiches actually look,” explained Ms. Anderson. “Sometimes I just crush all the ingredients into balls and hurl them at our customers.”
President Obama isn’t the only politician trying out new jobs. Speaker of the House John Boehner was seen pumping gas into cars and learning when price fluctuations hit consumers. Meanwhile, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi had entered into training to become a paintball referee.