Tempe, AZ: On Wednesday, an anonymous source at Wachovia leaked documents that revealed Bill Gunderson, of Tempe, Arizona, has capitalized on the rebounding economy by burying himself under two mortgages and $34,000 in credit card debt.
This comes as a surprise to many in the financial industry, because Gunderson, 37, was forced to declare bankruptcy in 2009 after the housing bubble burst and America was cast into a deep recession.
“To be honest, we’re not really sure how this happened,” the same anonymous Wachovia source said. “While Gunderson should have learned his lesson after the last crisis, as a company, we really need to reevaluate how we process, refine and approve people we loan money to.”
When The Inept Owl reached Gunderson by phone late Tuesday night, he seemed unconcerned.
“I was talking to my buddy a few months ago and he watches the news ad all that stuff. He told me the Dow was above 13,000 points, and I’m not sure what that means, but last time that happened the money started flowing so I thought ‘well why not try again?'”
The markets responded negatively to this breaking new story early Wednesday in pre market trading as home builders and financial institutions all began combing their books for potential “Gundersons.”
“Time will tell the true impact of this Gunderson thing, but needless to say the Street is running scared,” Kris Williams, and analyst at Moody’s said.