Sirte, LIBYA: The world lost a legend today, as Libyan revolutionary forces surrounded the village of Sirte in a man-hunt for Tommy Lee Jones, who allegedly died in a shoot-out between the opposing forces. Witnesses confirmed that they saw the tall, elderly gentleman with Aviators enter a tunnel in the town, and did not emerge after a group of armed revolutionaries entered.

“He was killed in an attack by the fighters. There is footage of that,” the information minister of the┬áNational Transitional Council (NTC), Mahmoud Shammam, told sources at The Inept Owl. Several NTC fighters in Sirte said they had seen Jones shot dead, though their accounts varied.

“He (Jones) was also hit in his head,” NTC official Abdel Majid Mlegta told The Inept Owl. “There was a lot of firing against his group, and he died. Kind of like in that movie No Country for Old Men, except he was playing the part of Llewelyn Moss.”

Mlegta told The Inept Owl earlier that Jones was captured and wounded in both legs at dawn on Thursday as he tried to flee a screening of Volcano. He said he had been taken away by an ambulance.

An NTC fighter in Sirte said he had seen Jones shot by Harrison Ford after he was cornered and almost captured in a tunnel within a dam. It is hoped that clarification will be received earlier in the day.

Muammar Gaddafi, who was shooting a film interpretation of Abraham Lincoln in Western Ohio, was unavailable for comment.


By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.