Okay, listen. I tried.
I really tried to give you, the faithful readers, what you want.
I wanted to review John Mayer’s “Battle Studies.” I know you love John Mayer and his soulful crooning. I know you love his popped collars and O-faces.
But that tyrant of an editor insisted I do this album instead. “You’ve already written an article 
about John Mayer,” he irrelevantly pointed out.
“You’ve already done an interview with Bare Cooze,” I relevantly pointed out.
“You’re fired!” he unhelpfully screamed.
“I don’t get paid!” I helpfully shouted.
“I have pictures of you naked with Betty White and a jar of peanut butter!” he slanderously exclaimed.
“I’ll do the damned review!” I libelously replied via email.
So here I am, listening to Bayer Queue’s self-titled EP. It’s a band, or a guy, or something. He’s got like 37 different origin stories floating around the internet, which puts him about 3 reboots behind Batman. He’s done interviews with Cat Fancy and a nude photo shoot for Playgirl; the music has been played in grocery stores in New York and before the Pope. The lead singer was a vocal stunt double for Bono on South Park in the episode where Randy Marsh has the world’s biggest poo. But enough about that.
Behr Q’s EP does have a hint of Bono to it, actually. Not the snotty, “I’ll tell you how to run the world’s economy because I’m a famous singer” sort of way, but songs like “I Saw It Beating” or “Vodka” do have echoes of U2 at times, both vocally and melodically. Whether an act that thrives in the musical underground benefits from such comparisons, I don’t know… then again, I’ve been compared favorably to Hunter S. Thompson and it hasn’t hurt my career, so there’s that.
(Wait, what? Oh. My editor just informed me that “being as prompt and as sober as Hunter S. Thompson” is not a favorable comparison. You learn something new every day.)
Overall, the sound draws from many genres and influences, far too many for me to list all at once. Far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far too many. (Checking word count… shoot.) Umm… influences like… umm… Green Day, or Kanye West, or Moby. Yeah, there was definitely Moby there, I’m sure of it. There’s guitar, and drums, and probably a bass in there. It’s very musical. Very, very, very, very, very musical. (Word count… daaaaaaaaaamn!)
Just know that if you were in Topeka and Boehr Cuse was playing on the same night as the Topeka Mudcats women’s football team, you should definitely skip the football game and go to the concert. Unless it’s the night they play against a team from the Lingerie Football League, in which case all bets are off.
Song you should pay $1 for on iTunes, rather than downloading for free: Umm… dude. Just go to the website and download the EP for free. You just have to sign up for their mailing list, and I’m like 70% sure that your email address won’t be sold to porn websites. And if it is, just forward it to me, because I’ve been looking for some new… err, material.
Rating: 4 Bear Cues.
