Dear Mr. Owl,

   It has come to my attention that a certain other satirical news website, which portrays a piece of produce as its symbol, has a shirt depicting an owl’s head with the phrase, “Owls Are Assh*les.”

   Is this other website at war with The Inept Owl? Is there some sort of bad blood, some dramarama?


Vague Reference to Malkovich

Dear Vague Reference,

   Many a writer and reader of The Inept Owl have brought up this same T-shirt from this same produce-inspired website for a year and a half now, at least. We are well aware of the T-shirt in question. I even own a few. Until now, we have never had a public statement about the issue, until today.Owls are assh*les

   I can only guess that The Inept Owl has spurned fear from this “tears of pain and aggravation” satirical website. Perhaps they feel that The Inept Owl has taken over a niche of printed humorous news reporting that they have neglected since changing their focus to audio and video. Perhaps our staff is prettier than theirs.

   The Inept Owl has no real care what this greenish vegetable-toting website implies about us. The last thing we want is to start some flame war between comedy sites, no matter how much drama and entertainment that may induce.

   Besides, we can’t fund a line of shirts that say “Onions Make My Eyes Rain” with a silhouette of Simple Jack’s face.

Hugs and Kisses to all (even that Allium-loving website),

-The Inept Owl