A few years ago I struck out on my own. I left my parents house and had to find an apartment that I could afford in a decent location. I settled on a small place with two rooms, basically. The kitchen and living room were all one room, and there was a bedroom also.
After I went through the exchange of cash to secure the place via a six-month lease, they handed me a form to fill out regarding the overall condition of the apartment upon moving in. This would, in theory, be the basis for me receiving or not receiving my deposit when I decided to move on. I took the form and headed to my new, exciting residence. I had a few things moved in at that point – my potato chip chair that I slept in, my stereo, computer, etc… As I was putting some items away in the 
closet, I noticed a bug crawling up the inside of the door. I killed it and disposed of the thing promptly. Later on I noticed a few more of them, but it wasn’t until I got up in the middle of the night and turned the lights on that I realized what exactly they were – Those damn brown German cockroaches! They were flipp’in aggressive bastards, too. I would open up a cupboard door to get a bowl and they would jump out at me.
A week passed and I had given the apartment a once over and checked off the condition of the apartment’s features. Carpet, windows, doors, plumbing, electric etc… When the time came to drop in and pay the next rent installment I was to also return the form I filled out regarding the condition of the apartment. I got into the office, paid my rent, and handed a Nestlee instant tea jar over to the girl at the desk.
“What’s this”, she asked.
“That’s my form I filled out regarding my apartment’s state when I moved in.”
Then she noticed the three or four little intruders that I had also tossed in the jar with the form. She wasn’t happy about that, and with good reason. Roaches are filthy, vile creatures that carry disease and they tend to take the joy out of living you know. To add insult to injury they offered to spray or treat my apartment. Keep in mind there were nine other apartments in the same building.
“No thanks,” I said – “I’ll just let the health department know about this and I’m sure they will make you spray the entire building.” You know – Landlords wonder why they have such a negative image in the media and such.
It was beautiful – the look on this girl’s face when those things crawled out from inside the form in the jar. These are life’s precious moments for me, man. Needless to say, that established the tone of our landlord/tenant relationship for the duration of my stay in Marion, Iowa. There should be absolutely no shock when I inform you that I did not get my deposit back. Not a dime, but I did get to take this tale away with me and maybe pass this on to other people who may be in the very same predicament some day. Remember – It has to be a tall enough jar to accommodate the rolled-up form and the roaches.