Sheryl Crow’s latest release Detours
At long last, Sheryl Crow is ready for me.
I mean, you can see it everywhere in her sixth studio release, “Detours.” Even in the title, she’s detailing the circuitous path to my arms. She started out as the dark chick rocker with 1993’s “Tuesday Night Music Club,” wound her way up through layers of fame and stardom, did the inevitable “greatest hits” collection, struggled with becoming a radio-friendly pop rocker, and eventually wound up at my politically liberal doorstep.
It’s okay, Sheryl. I know that Lance was just a fling. I mean, who wants to commit their life to a blood-doping bike freak? In the most literal of senses, he’s half the man I am (yep, going STRAIGHT to hell for that one). And your song “Diamond Ring” shows that you’re done with him. And “Drunk With The Thought Of You” just screams out how much you want me (I mean, come on, any song with the word “drunk” in the title is begging for my attention).
When you sing “Love Is Free” and “Gasoline,” you’re speaking the anti-Bush words to my heart. Whether it’s criticizing the events of Hurricane Katrina or bemoaning our oil-dependent fate, it makes me want to take you into a voting booth and do naughty, naughty things… like voting for Dennis Kucinich.
Then you get into personal topics, like “Make It Go Away (Radiation Song)” and “Lullaby For Wyatt,” and I realize you want me to understand your struggle with breast cancer and the adoption of your son. Since you have to spend so much time on the road, you put the words meant for me into your tunes. That’s also why you haven’t responded to my letters, I’m guessing.
My shrink says maybe I’m reading too much into the lyrics. He also suggests that I stop bombarding your website with emails and that maybe, just maybe, the reason you keep switching cell phone numbers is to keep ME away, rather than the masses of people who just don’t understand you like I do. But what does he know? I mean, the guy doesn’t even believe that the government is tracking my every move by a chip implanted in my shoulder when I got that last tetanus shot.
Song you should pay $1 for on iTunes, rather than downloading for free: “Motivation.” Much in the vein of “All I Wanna Do,” it takes some pot-shots at mainstream culture, all the while disguised melodically as a radio-friendly pop song. This is what Sheryl does best: make a song that sounds to the ear like it might be part of the big machine, but lyrically is trying to bring it down from the inside. She’s the musical Sarah Connor to the recording industry’s Skynet. And she’s going to help me kill the robots that are disguised as disc jockeys and… hey, what are you doing with that white jacket? The arms look too long for me…
Rating: Four restraining orders. That’s how much she loves me.
