Browsing: International

International
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Critics of the British Monarchy have been dealt a right royal slap this week, courtesy of its head honcho, The Queen.

The Royals, who are generally labeled as “behind the times” and “out of touch with reality”, responded to its detractors with a regal kidney punch to the very heart of their arguments, in the face!

Queen Elizabeth II, (or II, as she is known by close friends), displayed to all the world how well informed and decisive she is, by stripping newly elected President of Zimbabwe, General Robert Mugabe, of his Honorary Knighthood before he did anything slightly dishonorable.

International
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Meteorologists around the world are warning of a huge band of severe weather, due to hit London U.K. within the next 2 weeks. Their predictions make for unsettling reading, as they forecast gale force winds, hail storms, snow, thunder, lightning, sleet, hurricanes, levels of rainfall not seen since the days of Noah, and even a 300 foot high Tsunami on the river Thames which runs through the great city.

International
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Arab extremists are up in arms right now, after a prominent member was recently contacted by a U.S Army general, who was out in the outskirts of Kabul, looking to buy some Do-Nuts.

International
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Investigations into alleged bribery and corruption surrounding one of the UK’s biggest ever arms deals look set to begin again, following a High Court ruling. The arms deal, worth some £43 billion, involved British company BAE Systems, and those old lovers of freedom and justice, Saudi Arabia.

International
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Since its lighting in Olympia, Greece, the flame of the 2008 Summer Olympic Games has been targeted by demonstrators and protesters intent on extinguishing the flame. The International Olympic Committee has been aggravated by the actions of these people, if only because of the reason for the protests: these people are against fire.

International
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Recently scientists from Switzerland have released the prototype for a new vehicle, one which could travel on land and also the depths of the oceans. This convertible aqua car could drive 77 miles per hour on flat ground, and roughly a whopping 3 miles an hour underwater, running solely on electrical engineering.

International
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The House Of Lords recently passed a bill to remove the blasphemy laws from English statute books. This still needs to be passed by the House Of Commons to become official, but it looks likely.

There are two main reasons given for rendering blasphemy legal in the UK. The first is to give the UK Government the moral high ground in international cases of ‘Religious Excess’ – the recent story of the British school-teacher who mistakenly named the class Teddy Bear “Mohammed” and incurred the wrath of Allah for her troubles, and the whole business last year of the newspaper that printed cartoons of The Prophet Mohammed and also incurred the wrath of Allah, (he gets about a bit), are just two cases in point.

International
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A stunning new document has been released from Vatican archives just in time for the Easter holiday. It is supposedly a transcript of the first conversation between Jesus Christ and Thomas the Apostle after Christ’s return from the grave. The author remains unknown, and the transcript is the subject of much debate among Christians. The Inept Owl is pleased to bring you an exclusive look at this controversial new addition to the Bible.

International
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Biologists have discovered that the holiday season is having an adverse effect on the environment. They have found that the world’s forests shrink much more rapidly in the months preceding Christmas. The primary culprit: Christmas greeting cards.

The shocking statistics come courtesy of The Granola Group, a non-profit organization dedicated to conservation efforts, world peace, and other hippie causes. Dr. Toefeld, head of The Granola Group, explained that those seeming-innocent holiday greetings are actually a grave threat to our planet.

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