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Presidential Voting Results Marred By Insanity

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Mitt Romney called a news conference to say: “To quote that great American, Yogi Berra, ‘It ain’t over until it’s deja vu all over again and the fat Democrat lady sings—and I fire her.  I have told Karl Rove and Diane Sawyer to put down their respective bottles—the election isn’t over!”

Yes, it appears that numerous cases of voting fraud have occurred in numerous states; with the most cases occurring in New York.

It seems that a number of humans have been deemed mentally incapacitated (“M.I.”) due to the fact that they are “void of all human characteristics and feelings” as required by the bylaws of the New York State’s Board of Elections.

Those who have been labeled as “Number one and number two offending M.I.’s” are Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Donald Trump.  Board of Elections Chairman Helen Stringle explained, “Non-M.I.’s have empathy toward others. But Mr. Trump and Mr. Bloomberg are extreme M.I.’s. For example, Mr. Bloomberg has again proved that he is 100% M.I. because instead of lending a helping hand, his hand wants to shoot a gun—preferably, to start a marathon. And frankly, you won’t see Mr. Trump in Breezy Point helping the victims of Hurricane Sandy.  Then again, a place named Breezy Point is anathema to an extreme “M.I.”–with an extreme comb over. Mr. Trump countered that him and his hair will “one day in the future we will go to Breezy Point when it’s safe for us.  That day will come when I buy up the land and rename it ‘Stagnant Air Point.’”

Mitt Romney stuck up for Mr. Trump by saying “Mr. Trump is not alone.  In this great land of ours, 47% of all Americans are ‘Mentally Incapacitated.’  Of this percentage, 93% are Republicans, .011 is my running mate, .01 is my wife and the remaining 6.88% are me and my family’s 688 Mormon children.”

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