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Slighted Man Adds Ex’s Hoo-Ha to Foursquare


New York, NY: Spring is a time of rejuvenation, a time when “a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love”, as Alfred Lord Tennyson put it. Unfortunately, the reciprocation of that fancy and love usually leaves an ex-boyfriend on the short end of Spring.

This problem was apparent for Douglas Garrett, whose jealousy over his ex-girlfriend’s new relationship prompted him to exact revenge in one of the most malicious social media hoaxes in history: a Foursquare location.

Using the popular social media application, Mr. Garrett created a venue for his ex-girlfriend’s place of residence, an apartment that shared the address of a local bar below. The name of the venue was “Courtney’s Vagina”, named after Mr. Garrett’s ex, Courtney Alvarez.

“Coming up with the idea was easy. What better way is there to call out a conniving, cheating ex-girlfriend that had moved on without me because I was, as she put it, a technology nerd, than creating a venue for her vagina that anyone could check in to?” stated Mr. Garrett.

While the idea may have come easy, luck played a part as well. The “One Ice” pub, located on the first floor of Miss Alvarez’ apartment, had a chance to create it’s venue on Foursquare, but never enacted the idea. Douglas, being obsessed with telling everyone where he was at any given time, was able to use the address to create his own venue, which he named “The Nest of Forever” when he was still dating Miss Alvarez, and constantly checked in to become mayor. When things went sour, Mr. Garrett still laid claim to the naming rights for the address, and promptly changed it to “Courtney’s Vagina”.

While the act may seem lewd and obnoxious, Mr. Garrett claims that he bears no ill will to his ex. “I’m not doing this so Courtney will be embarrassed that so many people are checking in to her vagina. I just hope that whoever she’s dating now is as addicted to social media applications as I am, and will see just how many people have checked into Courtney’s vagina.”

Courtney Alvarez was unavailable for comment.

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Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.

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