New York, NY: For years, reports of his death proved to be premature, over and over again. A website was erected in order to tell the world of his true status. His name is a running gag, so much so that this article may have jumped the shark a few years ago.

Now, celebrations have begun as the perennial old man, Abe Vigoda, turned 91 years old today, beating out another group of celebrities in death pools worldwide.

While Mr. Vigoda continues to be counted in the Big 3 of death pools (along with Dick Clark and Betty White), many have passed that seemed to have better odds, including:

1 ) Gary Carter

2 ) Whitney Houston

3 ) Amy Winehouse

4 ) Kim Jong-il

5 ) Patrice O’Neal

6 ) Joe Frazier

7 ) Andy Rooney

8 ) Al Davis

9 ) Steve Jobs

10 ) Ryan Dunn

11 ) “Macho Man” Randy Savage

12 ) Bill Hinzman

The fact that Abe Vigoda is still alive is believed to be a sign that the End of Days, marked by the Mayan calendar for this year, will not happen, as the final sign for the end of the world is supposedly marked by the death of an elderly man that has risen from the grave, over and over again.

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.