Washington DC: The results are in: Floridian ex-mom Casey Anthony has been found not guilty of 1st degree murder in the death of her 2 year old daughter Caylee. For many, the outrage has saturated the media more so than the O.J. Simpson verdict. This could be blamed for the social advancement of the internet, as it cannot be known if angry white people would have created Facebook groups calling for a lynching in the 90s.
“To be sure, we wouldn’t have been able to pull this off with O.J. Simpson even if there was a Facebook,” stated member of the Casey Anthony Lynch Mob Ronald Cooper. “The ACLU would have been all over our asses, France would have started cursing us out again, and we would have lost the NBA and NFL due to something other than money. You can’t lynch a black man these days and not stir up controversy.”
The Casey Anthony verdict is also creating a new platform for politicians such as Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, who have found President Obama to blame for doing nothing as a jury of her peers found Casey Anthony not guilty.
“Of course it’s Obama’s fault,” stated self-proclaimed Alaskan native Kenneth O’Shea. “Even the liberal media showed how guilty Casey Anthony was. How could some so-called jury know more about the trial than the American people? Obama could have stepped in like a dictator and thrown her ass in jail, or executed her. What does he do? Nothing. What the hell…”
All signs seem to point to the Democratic Party being “pussies”, as Newt Gingrich allegedly phrased it, since the last time such a public murder trial was held and the the defendant(O.J. Simpson) was found not guilty, a Democrat was president.
“Clinton was another one,” explained O’Shea. “He could have done the right thing and had O.J. and that white Bronco behind bars, but instead, he went and got a blow-job. What kind of man is that?”
Republicans didn’t stop at the presidency. In a FOX News poll about what is to blame for the Casey Anthony verdict, 55% blamed Obama, 30% believed it was God’s way of punishing New York for recently allowing gay marriage, 25% blamed how close Florida is to communist Cuba, and 3% blamed the NFL lockout.